“But I was so nice to her. And this is what I get?!”
Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to be a kind, respectful guy. That is, if you want to get along with other people.
Nice is nice and all.
But, if being nice is your main strategy for finding love, then you got problems.
I’m not telling you to be an ass.
Don’t manipulate, play games, or any engage in other abusive behaviors.
But… Nice is not enough.
I hope that by being nice you mean that you’re being agreeable, polite, thoughtful, and considerate.
Great. You should be. That’s basic.
Or, does nice mean bending over backwards, sacrificing your wellbeing, and letting yourself be walked all over? Oh man, we need to talk…(future post)
Look, you gotta figure out who you are.
What do you stand for?
Get clear on that. Align with that. Draw power from that.
This will make you infinitely more attractive than the Nice Guy.
You’ve heard of having a spine? What does that mean, anyway?
It means having some core part of yourself that holds you upright and firm. An internal structure that supports and maintains your integrity.
Why do you think the Bad Boy is attractive? He’s not seeking approval. He’s his own man.
But you don’t have to be a Bad Boy.
You just need to find and firm up your metaphorical spine.