As men, there are a couple of situations that cloud our judgement.
When we’re in love (or desperately seeking it); and when we feel her slipping away.
In both of these scenarios, things can get muddy. Red flags get glossed over.
Depending on where you are in the love cycle, you may be under the influence of powerful, mind-altering chemicals.
These chemicals are released by your body to ensure you pass on your genes.
They make it hard to see and think clearly.
You are basically high and wearing rose colored glasses.
No wonder we get confused!
Alternatively, you could just be in denial. It’s a very easy predicament to find oneself in.
You selectively see what supports what you want to be true. It’s just what humans do.
On top of all that, we’ve had a ton of nonsense ideas heaped onto us from our families, schooling, society, etc. (what my teacher called the Cultural Trance).
Here’s the thing…
If you have to ask, then you probably already know the answer.
If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
If something feels broken, it probably is.
If someone acts interested, they probably are.
If they act disinterested, they probably are.
If it seems like someone is cheating, they probably are.
If it feels like they don’t love you, they probably don’t.
Of course, there are exceptions. Sometimes we’re just being paranoid or we have some pattern or paradigm we bring to all of our relationships.
As a man, you need to cultivate clarity.
That’s why I tell the single men I work with that it’s actually a good thing they aren’t currently in a relationship.
It’s so much easier to work on yourself when it’s just… yourself. At least initially.
Eventually, if you want to reach your full potential, it is better to be in a relationship.
If you catch yourself going round and round. Overthinking. Ruminating. Obsessing.
Take a breath. Take a walk outside. Clear your head.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What would you tell someone else in your shoes?
Is there something you wish to be true that is making this more complicated than it needs to be?