“It’s not fair…”

Do you feel like it’s tough out there for men right now?

Tinder got you down?

Feeling like women have the easy end of things and men are treated like criminals everywhere they go?


That’s just the name of the game.

You can’t control greater social trends or the cultural story at the moment.

Other things that fall out of your circle of influence include your height, dick size, other people’s thoughts and feelings, and the weather.

So, unless your mission is to change the culture (if it is, that’s great!), then I suggest you take a dispassionate view of all these obstacles and forces.

Not that you shouldn’t care, but don’t let these things take up so much mental space.

They feed into a kind of defeatist attitude that can become an excuse to copout of doing the work that is required.

The work of becoming your best self.

If it’s raining (and you’re sane), you don’t shake your fist at the sky and grumble about how unjust the world is. You put on a jacket and get about your business.

Look, I’m not trying to be flippant about your struggles. We all have ours.

What I am trying to do is remove some of the energy you’ve built up around these ideas.

It’s not that these factors are all imagined (some of them are). It’s that you’re making it far worse than it has to be.

You’re turning a stubbed toe into a disability.

We’re not denying obstacles, but we do need clarity if we’re going to work with them effectively.

This is nearly impossible if you have so much dirt on your lens that it distorts the size and nature of the obstacle.

This “dirt” includes other people’s ideas and stories, unresolved emotional hurts, and limiting mindsets and attitudes.

The work we must do is to strip away this clutter. To let go of being a victim, and have the courage and audacity to succeed in spite of obstacles.

There are dumber, poorer, uglier, weirder, and unluckier men out there who have achieved their dreams.

You have a decision to make.


Or find a way.