It’s been a few months since you had your heart broken.

The dust has settled. You’re feeling a little better.

There may still some bad days, but life has regained its rhythm.

And (because we’re human), we feel better than we did before, so we think we’re all better.

The problem here is that most of us never fully integrate and heal before moving on.

We don’t absorb all the lessons or work on our deficiencies.

Instead, we get back out there and try to find someone who isn’t exactly her (the one you’re no longer with), but makes us feel good.

Wanting to move forward with your life is good. It means you’ve accepted that what you had with your ex is over and it’s time to make something new.

But it’s often premature.

You don’t want to be premature do you?

Sorry, I have a messed up sense of humor…

You’re better off taking some time to work on yourself.

What does that mean?

It means reconnecting and clarifying your values, priorities, and goals.

What did you learn about yourself and what you want in life from your past relationship(s)?

What kind of man do you need to become to get what you want going forward?

That might mean eating better, lifting weights, learning a new skill, or gaining more knowledge.

If you’re boring, overweight, and awkward then your pool of prospects will be limited.

Importantly, we must examine and challenge any cynical thoughts and feelings left over from past hurts and struggles.

Do you really want to drag that shit into your next relationship?

That’s the problem, we tend to get more cynical, guarded, jaded, angry, bitter, defensive, and set in our ways.

Not really the recipe for a loving, fulfilling adventure in love.

FYI: Women aren’t looking for grumpy, dumpy old (in spirit) men.

What would happen if you became a new, better version of yourself before jumping into the next one?