There is one, perfect woman out there in the world waiting for you to find her.

Just kidding.

Or maybe you believe “The One” broke up with you. Or that you’re with “The One” right now.

There are over 3 billion women in the world.

You have varying degrees of compatibility with each one.

Some will be compatible in certain ways, and others in different ways.

One person that you are perfectly suited for and that is perfectly suited for you?

I doubt it.

Having said that, I do feel damn fortunate to be with my wife. We’re very well suited to each other—something that has increased over time.

we’ll get into why that is in a second… 

Should you try to find someone that has values and goals that align with and complement you own?


Should you have chemistry and feel great around each other?

Of course.

Beyond that, it comes down to your willingness to work.

You must be proactive and lead in your relationship.

What many men don’t realize is that the two of you should continue to grow and change throughout your lives.

You don’t just find each other and then that’s it. That’s just the beginning.

That means your relationship must evolve, too.

You must create a context and set an example that your special lady will follow and flourish in.

Who we hang around matters.

If she’s hanging around an undirected, weak willed, disengaged man-boy, do you think that will bring out her better side?


Know yourself. Be better. Do better. Attract better.

When you’ve found a good one, don’t mess it up. Be clear. Act intentionally and in alignment with your values.

Lead by example. See the best in her: encourage, support, elevate.

If she’s a good one, she’ll reciprocate.

Maybe that’s how we know that she’s “The One”.