In a struggling relationship?
Maybe you should leave.
Sometimes that’s all you can do… If it’s too broken, the foundation too weak, the energy too toxic.
Better to just scrap it.
I don’t know, there could be something valuable worth saving there (only you can decide).
Either way, there is something you must realize.
Whether you stay or go, you will need need to change.
And that takes work.
I’m not saying it’s all your fault. Although you’ve had a greater hand in how things look then you realize (or would like to admit).
But… Something about who you are not only attracted and selected the woman you’re with now, but also helped set the tone of your current dynamic.
If you leave, you’ll have challenges with other people. Not saying you shouldn’t leave who you’re with now…
How could I? I don’t know the specifics of your situation.
If you stay, you will need to take responsibility for your part in all of this.
This doesn’t mean you have to double down on being nice to her. Giving in to all her demands. Completely surrendering your will.
You need to change the pattern.
It’s hard, but (sometimes) doable. It helps if she’s on board.
Together, the two of you have created a dynamic—a program that runs every time you interact.
It will require you to become very honest with yourself about any bullshittery that you’re bringing to the table.
It will require persistence, patience, courage, and compassion.
You’ll need to decide between hanging onto your rough edges, delusions, and weaknesses or becoming a better man.
And you can’t expect her to take the lead.
Taking responsibility is the first step. Saying to yourself, “This may or may not work. It’s probably going to be hard. Either way, I’m committed to leading this relationship to a new place—even though she may not change immediately.”
That’s the thing, you can’t give it a quick half-assed attempt and expect everything to magically change right away.
although, sometimes things can turn around surprisingly fast
Okay, let’s say you’re not willing to put forth the effort. You’re not willing to endure the discomfort and struggle.
The relationship is just not worth it… you’re done!
Be a man about it. Communicate your intent clearly and walk away.
Don’t look back.
A great time to improve yourself (and your relationship prospects) is when you’re single.
By undertaking a rigorous path of personal development and self-improvement you won’t necessarily avoid all future relationship issues. But, you will be working through better problems with a better person.
The good news is that it is far easier to do this work outside of a relationship.
And if you choose not to change?
Then good luck in your next relationship.
The truth of the matter is that the honeymoon phase will always come to an end in any relationship. When it does, challenges will be waiting for you.